Curfews and Consequences
Parenting is not simply about being a mother and a father in the family. It has many obligations. And it is a crucial role.
Ideally, we want our children to be the best that they can be while we, ourselves, are imperfect beings. No, I’m not suggesting that you have to be perfect in the hopes that your offspring will emulate you. The hardest part for you is to accept the fact that they are individuals, unique and different as they should be. The parent who attempts to make little carbon copies of themselves with their kids will ultimately fail. If we get angry, our children may see this and get angry, too. Therefore, it may be better to seek online counseling for ways on how to control anger, if this is a problem.
Moving on, we love our children since birth and this love is unconditional. We want only the best for them—all the things that we never had or just dream about. Yes, teenagers are easily drawn into the web of physical things, but we must also include some intangibles, too. Think about your dreams as a child—do you see your teen holding fast to some of your hopes and dreams?
Set reasonable curfews and enforce them. If the curfew is 9:00 p.m. on school nights and your teen drifts in 15 or 20 minutes late, consider this as an infraction because you are being tested. Next, it will be 8:30 or 9:45. Nip this in the bud. Make the penalty for tardiness clear. Be home by 9 or you are grounded for the rest of the week. Visit this website for information on teen curfew.
Limits on cell phone usage and texting. If you have unlimited calls and texting—get rid of it. When violations occur with your teen, remove this feature. Contact your cell provider and suspend service on your teen’s line.
Household chores. Teenagers often resent these chore assignments, but participating in the operation of the home is every family member’s responsibility. Your teen will either do the chores willingly or will avoid them. An effective consequence of failing to complete the chore should result in the loss of cellphone privileges. Or perhaps sequestering your teen’s iPad.
Driving: This is a topic I’ll handle in a separate post because I believe it deserves full coverage. But I will say this—local news recently covered the story of a teenager who was driving along at about 50 mph and in a two-minute period responded to 2 text messages. One minute later he drifted across the road’s center line and hit head-on an oncoming car traveling at about the same speed. That’s like hitting a brick wall at 100 mph. The other driver died instantly and the teen is charged with 2nd-degree homicide.
The courts are at odds about enforcing such a serious charge for a motor vehicle accident, but the prosecutor says it was no accident. In any case, the teen is facing a very long time in prison. So much for college or a good job in the future!
Homework: You didn’t like doing it, nor does your child. The obvious consequence of not completing assignments is poor grades. But many teenagers don’t even think that far into the future. So, it’s up to you. People of all ages appreciate any recognition. Spend a little quality time with your teenager and let them know that you really do care about their well-being. Poor grades can mean a mediocre life when schooling is finished. Also, keep a careful lookout for mood changes or bouts of depression. This could possibly be a result of alcohol or drug abuse or even being bullied. If this is the case, then you and your child may require online therapy for professional help.
We, as parents, must set an example. We let them see what the consequences when curfews are broken. Be a responsible parent as well and seek help from free online counseling if you see a potential problem with your teenager.